Why do people…
I was skimming the reddit front page as usual this morning and came across a funny (or racist depending on your point view) post: Why do black. Someone followed this up later on with Why do white…. Both posts illustrate suggested search queries that you see when you begin entering a search into Google. Google looks at what you’ve typed so far and based on the popularity of queries it has seen in the past, presents you with what it thinks you’re searching for. The results are an unvarnished look at what people are really thinking about. In this case, both illustrate stereotypes but the Why do white post shows how well they work in both directions. “why do black” yields “why do black men like white women” on one page, and at the same time the search for “why do white” presents “why do white men like black women”.
Anyway, I started entering all kinds of phrases beginning with “Why do” into Google: “Why do men”, “Why do women”, “Why do dogs”, “Why do cats”, etc., and snickering at some of the results. And then I typed “Why do people” and my thoughts changed. There were some funny ones (why do people fart), but I thought, remove the element of race and these questions are universal, deeper (why do people lie). I made my own reddit post but either people didn’t get it or it was already soooo five minutes ago.
But my curiosity was piqued. What are people wondering about? I needed more than just the first 10 results Google comes up with. So I did what any alleged geek would do: I wrote an application. Just a quick thing to grab the results from several queries that begin “why do people” and turn those results into a sort of tag cloud so I could see what answers were being looked for more than others. The results included lots of funny / silly stuff: Why do people eat boogers? Why do people use facebook? Why do people wear underwear? But so many of the questions were so serious. So earnest. Why do people fall out of love? Why do people get depressed? Why do people judge? Why do people not like me? And it just struck me as profoundly sad, imagining millions of people around the world so desperate to find answers to questions that have been asked since we’ve been able to communicate. Asking for help from a soulless machine.
The list is below, in alphabetical order, with more popular questions in bigger text than less popular questions. It’s interesting to look through, or at least it is to me and all the questions are linked to Google’s results. Who knows maybe the answers are there. Or at least a little guidance.
why do people abuse animals? | why do people abuse children? | why do people abuse drugs? | why do people adopt? | why do people argue? | why do people are? | why do people advertise? | why do people attend church? | why do people abuse prescription drugs? | why do people animal test? | why do people bully? | why do people believe in god? | why do people become homeless? | why do people bite their nails? | why do people blush? | why do people become vegetarians? | why do people blog? | why do people binge drink? | why do people break up? | why do people burp? | why do people cheat? | why do people commit suicide? | why do people cut themselves? | why do people cry? | why do people celebrate halloween? | why do people conform? | why do people change? | why do people cough? | why do people create viruses? | why do people come to america? | why do people drink alcohol? | why do people drink? | why do people dream? | why do people die? | why do people do drugs? | why do people divorce? | why do people dress up for halloween? | why do people discriminate? | why do people diet? | why do people date? | why do people express themselves? | why do people emigrate? | why do people eat boogers? | why do people eat ice? | why do people explore? | why do people eat meat? | why do people eat their boogers? | why do people eat junk food? | why do people eat raw eggs? | why do people eat dirt? | why do people fart? | why do people fall in love? | why do people faint? | why do people fast? | why do people fight? | why do people fall out of love? | why do people faint at weddings? | why do people flirt? | why do people forget? | why do people float in the dead sea? | why do people get married? | why do people get tattoos? | why do people get divorced? | why do people get hiccups? | why do people gossip? | why do people go to lourdes? | why do people get headaches? | why do people go to college? | why do people get abortions? | why do people get depressed? | why do people hiccup? | why do people have affairs? | why do people have abortions? | why do people have nightmares? | why do people have dreams? | why do people hunt? | why do people hack? | why do people have children? | why do people hoard? | why do people have accents? | why do people immigrate? | why do people itch? | why do people invest? | why do people immigrate to canada? | why do people interrupt? | why do people insult others? | why do people invest in gold? | why do people ignore? | why do people immigrate to australia? | why do people immigrate to the uk? | why do people join gangs? | why do people join cults? | why do people join political parties? | why do people join the military? | why do people judge? | why do people join unions? | why do people join trade unions? | why do people judge others? | why do people join sororities? | why do people jump when watching a scary movie? | why do people kiss? | why do people kiss with their eyes closed? | why do people keep secrets? | why do people keep pets? | why do people keep smoking? | why do people keep exotic animals? | why do people keep exotics? | why do people keep their promises an experimental test of two explanations? | why do people keep blogs? | why do people kiss under the mistletoe? | why do people lie? | why do people live near volcanoes? | why do people like obama? | why do people laugh at creationists? | why do people laugh? | why do people litter? | why do people listen to music? | why do people love? | why do people like plain? | why do people like mccain? | why do people migrate? | why do people make viruses? | why do people marry? | why do people murder? | why do people move? | why do people mastubate? | why do people make computer viruses? | why do people meditate? | why do people make art? | why do people make fun of other people? | why do people not vote? | why do people not believe in god? | why do people need glasses? | why do people need sleep? | why do people not like me? | why do people need water? | why do people need religion? | why do people not recycle? | why do people need friends? | why do people need blood transfusions? | why do people overeat? | why do people obey the law? | why do people oppose stem cell research? | why do people of rajasthan wear colourful clothes? | why do people oppose the death penalty? | why do people overspend? | why do people obey authority figures? | why do people overanalyze? | why do people outsource? | why do people procrastinate? | why do people pray? | why do people plagiarize? | why do people play video games? | why do people play games? | why do people play sports? | why do people pay taxes? | why do people poop? | why do people pick their nose? | why do people participate in sport? | why do people quit? | why do people queef? | why do people quit exercising? | why do people question god? | why do people quarry in the peak district? | why do people quote other people? | why do people quit school? | why do people rape? | why do people read? | why do people recycle? | why do people resist change? | why do people run? | why do people rebel? | why do people read books? | why do people run marathons? | why do people rock back and forth? | why do people run away? | why do people smoke? | why do people snore? | why do people start smoking? | why do people say bless you when you sneeze? | why do people sneeze? | why do people steal? | why do people smoke weed? | why do people stutter? | why do people sleep walk? | why do people self harm? | why do people take drugs? | why do people travel? | why do people talk to themselves? | why do people think obama is muslim? | why do people think obama is the antichrist? | why do people tan? | why do people take cocaine? | why do people take risks? | why do people take heroin? | why do people take ecstasy? | why do people use drugs? | why do people use steroids? | why do people use cocaine? | why do people use heroin? | why do people use the internet? | why do people use illegal drugs? | why do people use meth? | why do people use tobacco? | why do people use facebook? | why do people use cannabis? | why do people vote? | why do people volunteer? | why do people vote republican? | why do people vote the way they do? | why do people vomit? | why do people vote for obama? | why do people visit national parks? | why do people vote conservative? | why do people vote early? | why do people visit kenya? | why do people work? | why do people write? | why do people wear glasses? | why do people watch tv? | why do people write viruses? | why do people write poetry? | why do people watch reality tv? | why do people worry? | why do people wear underwear? | why do people whale? | why do people yawn? | why do people yawn when other people yawn? | why do people yell? | why do people yell geronimo? | why do people yawn at the same time? | why do people yawn when others yawn? | why do people yawn when they see other people yawn? |
Outstanding.
The answers are so obvious!
Like our friend the dog. Because we can.
Carry on.